Four Months. Wow thats almost half a year! Every month on the 8th marks a "day" Some good, some not so good. Last night as I was just talking to Andy about Mara, I was telling him that she was now four months and I coudlnt believe how time has gone by so quick. Since going and seeing Mara I gained "closure" for lack of better word. As Andy pointed out last night, I no longer yearn for their words. I dont cling to every single letter that I get. Yes I still get all giddy excited but its not the same. Im growing independent and not relying on those things to help me through my day. Dont doubt for a single second that I dont miss that girl more than anything, but seeing her happy and seeing how it has changed Josh and Lizzy's whole life makes it all worth it. My heart is mending, i cant promise that its going to be whole again...ever, but I know that its getting better. It doesn't hurt so much anymore. I can actually get through a day without crying a few tears in my daily shower. Thank you Andy for pointing out that Im doing better, and sitting be me even in my worst state. Not many strange men would walk into this and be so supportive. Thank you Family for letting me cry when needs be, or just ramble on about Mara even though sometimes you have hears the stories a million times. Today I just sat back and thought about how much I wanted to be done being pregnant, to just get through that bittersweet day, now I want to relive it. I want to never forget it. Every moment of it has changed me and changed who I am growing into. I love every single one of you.