Sunday, June 21, 2009


Today he referred to me by my whole name Princess Katt.
Not just to me, in sacrament meeting during his talk.
He told a very sweet story that did make my eyes get leaky,
but i couldnt let it show, in true Gillespie fashion.
Over the years I have put my dad through some "stuff"
rough not so nice "stuff"
i am fortunate enough to have a forgiving dad.
who loves me even though i break his heart sometimes.
who took me to vegas,
and has shared a very rough time with me.
thank you for your many blessings,
the few times you said I love you,
even to just make Emilee mad :)
Thank you daddy for being a great example.
For leading me the best you knew how.
And supporting & loving me through all i do.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

The Legacy of a Child in an Open Adoption

By Brenda Romanchick

Once there were two expectant mothers.
One carried and cared for you beneath her beating heart
She became your Birthmother.

The other carried the hope of you within her.
She became your Mom.

As the days passed, and you grew bigger and stronger,
Your Birthmother knew that she could not give you all you needed after your birth.
Meanwhile, your Mom was ready and waiting for you.

One day your Birthmom and your Mom found each other.
They looked into each other’s eyes and saw a friend.
Your Birthmom saw the life your Mom could give you.
Your Mom saw how much your Birthmom loved and cared for you.

They decided that what you needed was both kinds of love in your life.

So now you have two families,
One by birth, the other by adoption.

And you have a home where you can get:
your questions answered,
your boo boos bandaged,
your heartaches soothed,
And much needed hugs.

And a place where you can find:
answers to your questions,
your image in the mirror,
a part of yourself,
And much needed hugs.

Two different kinds of families
Two different kinds of love
Both a part of you

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

As everything draws closer it brings me to remember...

Ill never forget that day.
Memorial Day 2008.
Went to the river tubing,
had a fight with Jordan,
Got coffee with my friend Sean,
& went to mom & dads for the comfort of their home.
For only a week had I been looking.
Emilee & I sat at the computer.
Countless faces that just yearn for a baby.
I had it all figured out.
A clear image of what I thought they would be.
What I needed for my daughter.
If it wasnt going to be me parenting her,
it HAD to be someone just like me.
A father like mine.
A husband that I hoped one day to find.
& yet NO ONE seemed right.
Than there it was,
A loving couple who still have time for cookies & milk.
They were beautiful.
I looked over their profile.
Read their personal letter.
They had a link to their blog.
The same blog I wonder to daily.
& I just knew.
There was no question in my mind.
Every birthmother says it the same way,
you just know.
I got very excited.
I had told myself that I would not write anyone
unless I was sure.
I didnt want to give anyone false hope.
So I wrote a simple email.
3 days went by without an email.
I was confused.
Turns out it was sent to my junk mail lol.
We emailed and emailed.
I wanted to meet them.
June 21 2008.
We met for the very first time.
Joes Bbq in Gilbert.
I was nervous, scared, could hardly breath.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Just like 2 old friends,
we chatted for almost 3 hours.
Weekend came & went.
As everything is getting so close to the year mark.
I cant help but go back to those days.
The days of being pregnant & alone.
The days of fear of what was next,
what was gonna happen after?
June 6th 2009, Mara Jane is theirs.
Sealed & blessed and forever theirs.
The list of emotions is long as I prepare to leave.
Although I cant wait to see that beautiful face,
I am scared for the roller coaster of emotions
that I am so not prepared for,
in the next few days ahead.......