Saturday, April 25, 2009

Thank You Dawn

I have been into reading a lot lately. I just love it. Everyone is always shocked to see me with a book in my hand. One night I called Dawn and asked her for a good book. She gave me a book called "Love & Grace" Let me just tell you, Dawn you pulled on my heart strings. I have been having a hard time lately wondering why I had to go through this? Why everyday am I faced with such heart ache? I know why, there where two people that needed me. Two people that needed a baby that they could not give each other. Heavenly Father trusted me. He had enough faith and trust in me that I would deliver this beautiful girl to where she needed to be. That after she was done helping me with my own life that she would be with her rightful family. Some days its so hard. I dont even know how i got through those moments in the hospital. How I willingly handed her to another woman and put such faith in her to love her like I would.... In the next month I will be able to know that Mara is where she is supposed to be. That because Josh & Lizzy have lived their life int he way they should their daughter will be theirs forever!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I tried to convince Mom a while back that if I just try hard to forget it will go away. . .
She being the brilliant Mother she is let me know that wont happen. . . .
I have finally got around to actually making time for Group.
I so dearly miss the other girls, and just being around them,
knowing that there is someone that feels what I do on a daily basis.
Hopefully it will help.
I have not been doing so great lately.

Spent Easter at Andy's Aunt Kathys home.
Went to his sisters dance concert!
She is an amazing dancer.
Kristofer is in soccer! Can you believe that!
He is a great little guy.

Mara's adoption is getting super close to being finalized.
Looks like I will be taking a trip the start of June.
She will be sealed and blessed in the same weekend!
What a blessing to know Mara will have her Eternal Family.

I have nothing really to update otherwise.
Life is flying by.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

This was the sight five months ago today.
The hardest, saddest, toughest day of my life.
Nothing will ever compare to the pain I felt that day,
All with just a signing of my name.
You are no longer her mother
Will forever remain in my mind.
The Twelve of every month is never through,
Until those words have rung in my ears.
The Eight is always a sad day, but also happy.
I gave life that day.
Four days later I gave it away.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Frogs no more,
I have found my prince!
A lovely girl like myself
Deserves someone just as lovely.
Andy picked me up from work with this in his car.
We have been together 3 months today.
I can say I couldn't feel happier.
He is that one guy who appreciates me,
loves me with all my faults,
even looks at them in a positive way!
Andy I love you!
Thank you for putting up with me,
standing by my side
supporting everything I do,
and just loving me.
A girl like me just needs someone to love her
now im ready to give you anything
and everything you need!