Ill never forget that day.
Memorial Day 2008.
Went to the river tubing,
had a fight with Jordan,
Got coffee with my friend Sean,
& went to mom & dads for the comfort of their home.
For only a week had I been looking.
Emilee & I sat at the computer.
Countless faces that just yearn for a baby.
I had it all figured out.
A clear image of what I thought they would be.
What I needed for my daughter.
If it wasnt going to be me parenting her,
it HAD to be someone just like me.
A father like mine.
A husband that I hoped one day to find.
& yet NO ONE seemed right.
Than there it was,
A loving couple who still have time for cookies & milk.
They were beautiful.
I looked over their profile.
Read their personal letter.
They had a link to their blog.
The same blog I wonder to daily.
& I just knew.
There was no question in my mind.
Every birthmother says it the same way,
you just know.
I got very excited.
I had told myself that I would not write anyone
unless I was sure.
I didnt want to give anyone false hope.
So I wrote a simple email.
3 days went by without an email.
I was confused.
Turns out it was sent to my junk mail lol.
We emailed and emailed.
I wanted to meet them.
June 21 2008.
We met for the very first time.
Joes Bbq in Gilbert.
I was nervous, scared, could hardly breath.
Nothing to be afraid of.
Just like 2 old friends,
we chatted for almost 3 hours.
Weekend came & went.
As everything is getting so close to the year mark.
I cant help but go back to those days.
The days of being pregnant & alone.
The days of fear of what was next,
what was gonna happen after?
June 6th 2009, Mara Jane is theirs.
Sealed & blessed and forever theirs.
The list of emotions is long as I prepare to leave.
Although I cant wait to see that beautiful face,
I am scared for the roller coaster of emotions
that I am so not prepared for,
in the next few days ahead.......