Sunday, May 22, 2011

So Many Unknowns

As the time for Vegas gets closer i am getting more nervous.
I am so excited for my friends Sarah and Bub to get married!
they are the CUTEST couple! 3 handsome boys and oh so adorable together.
its my visit with mara that has me anxious.
I know with josh and liz everything will be great,
i love them to death. We have this bond that very few understand.
Its comfortable. They ease my anxiety.
Im most worried about Mara,
Every time i see her its something new.
I wonder what, if anything at all Josh and Lizzy have told her about me.
I wonder in her little 2 year old mind does she know she grew in Katts belly?
Has she seen pictures of me and kind of understands that she is part of me?
Every time from this time on, she will be older, able to understand a little bit more..
and im nervous about it.
What if she doesnt like me. What if she doesnt want to know me.
This was all easier when she was little,
id rather just be Katt family friend who loves that girl more than words can explain.
Regardless of what she knows or doesnt know. im excited to see her gorgeous face,
meet her little sister, and hug josh and lizzy.
Emotionally im drained. my heart is heavy,
heres to a night of wondering just what miss mara knows.
Two weeks of anxiety but anxious to see them.
and knowing all my fears will be calmed once i see her and her perfect family!

14 days and counting... EEEEK!

1 comment:

audra said...

What is there to worry about? How could anything in your life possibly lessen the magnitude of your sacrifice for her? Don't allow doubt to make you feel less worthy, you are and always will be amazing.