Mara Visit Feb 22 2009

This past weekend I had the chance to go visit Josh, Lizzy & The Girl! Jordan, Andy & his friend Thomas drove up Friday morning to Las Vegas. Friday Jordan & I drove over to Josh & Lizzy's and spent some time with them. Mara is growing so much, its hard to think that she is even the same little Angel I delivered 3 months ago. She has lost almost all her hair except some in the back. Josh & Lizzy do more fighting over her than I have ever seen. It gave me great comfort to know that she is so loved and so well taken care of. It gave me such a sense of reassuance seeing them at home with her and seeing her happy. When she cried my motherly instinct wasnt there, which at first I felt guilty for, but than I just realized I am not her mother, lizzy is. She is such an awesome mother, & josh is so dang cute. There are not 2 better people. Despite the situation at home with Grandpa, I was glad I went. I am greatful that they opened their home to me...

Although things have taken a sudden turn with Grandpa. Just 5 days ago he was the happy healthy man we all knew.. Unreal how life can change in just an instant and be taken from you. It really makes me sit back and think about what I have.. Please pray for him that he will be where he needs to be....

Even though this is going on I am still going to visit those 2 people I fell in love with 8 months ago! It was much debate in my own mind, but it seems like a good choice and it will be nice to be in a happy place if only for a couple days! Wish us safe traveling & not too much anxiety!

Ill be sure to give her a million kisses from EVERYONE!

Valentines Day

This morning I woke up to a cute little note on the mirror from Mister Andy. It was so cute. It had some little stick figures and 5 little stick figure babies. The best stick figure babies I have EVER seen & I work in a child care! I am so lucky this year to have him around! I got a package from Josh & Lizzy, which started my day out amazing! She is so big and smiley I love it! It had some things for Kristofer and a card & letter for me. I always love Lizzys letters they are so heart warming! Grandpa got married today, now we have added Ellen to the family. They had a little reception at my Mama house. They are just so cute. I got to talk to Ellen, she is a pretty neat lady come to find out. I am so happy for Grandpa and Ellen! It was the usually crazy ness with all the right people. I couldnt ask for a better Valentines day. Except my honey had to work so he couldnt be my date :(

I FINALLY got a picture on the family wall mom & I both agree on. I asked my dad earlier in the day how long Andy had to be my honey before I got to have him in my picture with me. His answer was short and sweet * Need a ring * I than replied that Rachael & Jen dont have rings and they are on the wall! So when we arrived at my moms house I decided to ask her, she said it was fine. So I FORCED Andy to take a picture with me. I think it brings out all my best qualities. No fake smile, its showing my hair and I have that handsome guy in there too! Finally the first time I have added to my picture!

This month marks one year of me getting pregnant.
Its so hard to look back at the months before that.
I was so sad, I was so lonely, I didn't know who I was or where I was headed.
Something that seemed like a disaster,
has somehow helped me find who I am.
In the last year so many things have changed.
So many lives have been touched.
From a crisis pregnancy.
Its a scary thought when I sit back and think about where I was headed,
If this Angel wasnt sent to me.
I automatically knew my choice the day I found out I was pregnant.
It wasnt even something I questioned.
I was scared to death.
People that dont know me so well want to think that maybe my family had influence in my choice.
No they didnt.
Who was I to say " You dont deserve what I had. Parents that planned for you. A family that has be anxiously waiting for you"
This month has been and probably will be one of the most changing for me.
My Angel turns 3 months old today.
Crazy how long ago that was, but just how tender the scares still are.
I am doing my first outreach to a high school of girls on 3/12.
Im nervous, excited & anxious to be able to share my story with them and be a part of something amazing.
I am going for my very first visit to Josh & Lizzy.
Man I cant wait to hold that girl and tell her I love her from my own mouth.
To kiss her little face & remind her that I miss her every single breath that I take.
To breath in her beautiful baby smell because It feels like its been forever since i held her in my arms.
I thank my heavenly father every single day for sharing Mara with me.
For letting her come into my life.
She alone has saved me.

Eight months to the day almost that I very first met Josh & Lizzy in person. I get to see them again! Feb 20th is coming so quick I cant even handle it! 16 days and Ill be holding that little angel and hugging those 2 people that I have changed their lives! I am getting so excited! We booked the hotel, now it seems so real! I cant wait to hold her and see her little round face!