Somedays it just hits me like a ton a of bricks.
Friday was on of those days.
A very sweet letter from Josh & Lizzy sent me into a weeping mess.
Today a video of her laughing on their blog has done the same.
She is growing ever so quickly.
Sittin up and laughing.

It just aches somedays,
to know that very first laugh had to be heard over video,
that her very first steps will im sure be the same.

I am FOREVER greatful that I can be able to see those videos
and am still able to see her grow,
but that pain is just there still.

6 monthes has come way too fast.
I feel everytime a new challenge comes im starting grieving all over again.
I know its because I havent ever let myself deal with it completely.
In one month I will be holding that girl again.
Kissing her sweet face and hearing that laugh all on my own!
Oh i cant wait.
Just the thought gives me that cheesy smile I cant hide!

it also brings on a whole new saddness and wonder.
When will I get to kiss her little cheeks again?

Today is one of those days.
I am counting down the hours til I get off work,
til im home all by myself,
so i can cry.
Today I just need to cry and miss that girl........