Open Adoption

Today someone asked me about "that adorable little girl on my facebook".
I explained how i have a little girl who i place for adoption.
Another of my cashiers joe, asked me about it when we werent standing in the center isle.
It really hit home today.
Talking about the connection there is with josh & lizzy.
& how much they are just like close friends.
It hit me hard to talk about how great i have it.
What a wonderful blessing this has been.
I cant type about it now but cause it makes me cry,
but Thank You Josh & Liz. Thank You, Youve made my heart ache less & been fabulous to me. I love you guys.

& i miss the girl like mad.

Lets Talk About A Perfect Day

Seriously. Perfect.
Let me give a little background. A couple weeks ago Liz asked if i got the letter they sent. Nope no letter! Are you kidding me! I watch religiously for a letter, nothing. Almost two weeks. Nothing.
Another little background. A whole 14 weeks ago Andy & I found out I am pregnant! We didn't tell anymore one due to some complications, & a high chance of miscarriage.
This takes us to present day.





19 weeks along & healthy. Little Miss Andee K Pitstick is due December the 9th 2010. She weighs in at a whopping 9 ounces & has all 10 fingers & toes. Yes, we are naming her Andee, after her dad, Richard Andrew. Middle name compliments of my mother, his mother & myself. & we could not be happier!

I come home from dropping Andy off at work, Julia hands me "the letter". The beloved letter I've been waiting for! Miss Mara is growing & more beautiful than ever! She has the biggest smile & these cute little sleepy eyes! I have pictures but couldn't scan them. I will soon. She is a little Domestic Diva as Liz says. & just loves Buzz Light Year. No one will ever replace the love or place I have in my heart for this girl. I am beyond excited to finally get my baby girl, but there will always be my first baby girl. I just love you Mara Jane!

We are currently in a state of moving. Oh how I loathe that! Oh how I will be loving my own place again, with my little family. I am becoming pretty crafty & am so excited to be able to paint & make it our little place. Andy is loving his job at Dragon Fire Racing, which is always a plus. He is lucky enough that my dad lets him ride to work with him, & they get some bonding time. Its actually a nice change to have a boyfriend your dad gets along with! Home Depot life is busy. It keeps me busy & slim. On an average day I walk a much needed 10 or 11 miles. Think about how small Home Depot is, yep back and forth all day long. I really do enjoy my job & most of the people i work with. Kristofer is getting excited to start 1st grade next month. Not so excited that he is getting a sister & not a brother. I think in the end he will love her just as much.

It has been a wonderful day & I couldn't be happier to end it snuggled up next to my babe ( after we pack up the kitchen ) but none the less in my spot!

that little ache

& today there's an ache.
A small piece that got lost,
but fit perfectly in somewhere else.
I want to get a tattoo symbolizing this little miss.
& i think its going to be a heart in a puzzle form,
with just one piece missing,
where her initials will be.
I've still got time to think about it.
i feel like i've done pretty good at moving on.
some days I just miss her.
& wish she were closer for visits.