Monday, June 14, 2010

The Rough Days

There is always going to be rough days in life.
There will always be days where it seems like the sun doesn't shine at all.
I can feel one of those days approaching.

Kristofer has had a rough time with me working so much.
I feel like I hardly see him with the crazy hours I work.
Because of this he has been very moody & emotional.
I feel like he is suffering & I'm missing out.
But what is the solution?
I cant just stop working.

There are also days when you just wake up with "The Ache"
There isn't any way to make it stop.
You just have to let it go through your heart & hope it isn't as bad as the last time.
I miss her.
I look at her hospital pictures.
& than I cant help but hop on over to check for recent pictures.
Even if there isn't any I still take a minute to look at how much shes grown.
& than i cant help but think of how much ive missed out,
& just how beautiful she is.
There will always be those days.
At the end of those days when the sun starts to shine again,
I remember what she has, what she needed, who her Mother is,
& than there is the rainbow after the storm.


Anonymous said...

You can make it. Some days will be hard, it's a tough choice you want a good life for christofer but you also need to be able to buy food. I don't know the right answer for you but you seem to be on the right track. And that beautiful baby was blessed to have someone willing to give her to her parents. Love you

Alex said...

Yes, there will always be those days, and you will get through them. You're can do anything. :) Kristofer may have a tough time with it right now, but he'll understand somewhere down the road. And hey, it won't always be like this.

Rachael Who? said...

I know its hard to feel like you are missing everything. My kids had a rough go of making the switch to me working full time when Jeremy and I got divorced. It will all balance out with time.
Keep at it my dear. The only thing that can stop you from making a good life for you and your family is you. Set the goals. Make time for you sonny, he will come around. Kids are resilient.