For all my fabulous readers
just figured i'd update ya'll about my crazy beautiful life.
1. i start school next month! i am feeling anxious
(next semester i might even jump into a class on campus WOAH)
2. kristofer is doing great in kindergarten.
he is always excited to go to school & rarely complains.
(boy I am lucky)
3. life on the sofa couch is restless.
I am always waiting for the final person to go to sleep,
& always up with the very first person .. yawn
4. My beloved Andrew... i love him.
we have had our moments but who hasnt *honestly*
at my maddest moment I can still name more reasons i love him than why I hate him.
& i cant see anyone making me smile more than he does.
5. next month marks 2 (yes 2) years of conceiving The Girl.
man oh man i cant believe she is getting so big,
time is a flyin'
.....i miss her more than ever lately....
6. work is slow
but i enjoy the time i get to spend with my sister.
One day we WILL have the Katt & Rachael show.


xoxoxox

Todays the day I do something about it. I am done sitting around waiting for *someone to change so I can get on with what I want in life. Im almost 25 & my parents didnt raise me to live the way I have. They didnt teach me to let people walk on me, or let myself take care of everyone before I take care of myself. I am tired of it. I applied for some jobs today ( I hope everyone prays I get one, wink wink) & with the help of my lovely sister I applied for school. I dont think there is any reason for me with my work experience & life experience that I should be living with my parents with no car. I am excited to be on this new road of happiness. All I have ever wanted in life was to be happy.I can stand by the fact that lately I have been hoping for someone else to make me happy, for someone to change & realize what he is going to be loosing. But I am tired of waiting & i know I alone can be happy. Ill tell you at the lowest part of my life, after I cleaned it up & realized I wasnt settling anymore, I was the happiest ive ever been. I was the most happy when I was pregnant with my sweet sweet girl. Some think how could I ever be happy, pregnant & alone. Truth is I wasnt alone. I had my sweet son, my precious angel, amazing family & Josh & Lizzy. All those people were all I needed & i was happy. I am excited to get my own place & get life together & not let it fall apart again for the millionth time it seems! Some exciting things are happening, also some very hard things. I know I have been through harder things, i have weathered harder storms all I have to say is * tomorrows another day, im thirsty any way, so bring on the rain *

Precious Mara, i miss you so badly today. I miss your little cry & your pirate eye. I miss the very first moment I held you, & the very last kiss I gave you. I miss feeding you your bottle & getting you dressed. Your growing into a girl with so much personality & im sad I cant be around more to see it. I love you.

im just flat tired of being put second.
it seems like oh hey ya we can hang out.
wait imma go do this better thing than ill come see you.
im not the only female with the problem.
it seems guys these days are all jerks.
no matter what.
its like somewhere guys being born after 1980
got the "im refusing to let my friends go" gene
& "i refuse to be tied down" gene
somewhere a healthy relationship consists of
*spending minimal time together
*having your very own life that doesnt involve the other person
* & not keeping plans.
im so frustrated i could cry
im so tired of being let down that now im just done expecting anything

The less you expect the less you hurt.

Christmas Has Come & Passed

Merry Christmas everyone! I cant believe its another year gone! Wow where has the time went. My beloved family left for California this morning early so Christmas was just Andy, Kristofer & I. I cant say that I've had a better Christmas than the one I had this year. Kristofer lucked out with some Ben 10 guys, tech dechs & ramp, clothes & other random things that 6 year old boys think make their days so much easier. I got Andy some new clothes & cologne. He was such a sweet heart blessed me with socks, a belt & a Weezer shirt -my all time favorite band- & this beautiful ring with a January stone in it for the month we started dating. We headed out to the dog park & spent sometime at his house with his brother Grady. Rachael made some delicious dinner and the kids had a good time playing. Now Im home making sure the mess is cleaned up from breakfast and presents. About ready to pop in a movie and cuddle up in my blankets on the couch. I hope everyone had a great Christmas like I did!

P.s All through the day I have received pictures of the most beautiful Princess who is growing ever so fast! It just puts the biggest brightest smile on my face seeing how she is big enough to open her presents & loves to carry a purse! Aw I cant wait until i can visit her again. Im sure she is like a whole different baby! I didnt realize how much i am missing her until i started to write this. She is such a blessed little girl . Josh & Lizzy are so wonderful to me!

Everythings a little messy around my life these days, but i can always count on this to make me smile & remember the great blessings in my life! What a beautiful little family!

The big Beautiful Family.

Sometimes i wonder where on earth this kid came from! I swear no less then 15 pictures & a threatened bed time & a spankin. We got none with us both smiling. Everyone was laughing so he just kept on going with the faces. I swear if anyone knows where he came from let me know!