Hard Work..

I feel like no matter how many hard things life has brought my way, im STILL learning.

Some days im so tired of learning. I just want something to be easy.

I walked away from a marriage once, & from that day forward I swore to myself i wouldnt ever get married or have children with someone I wasnt SURE i was going to spend the rest of my days with. I swore to myself after Mara that no other child born by me, would ever have a broken family.

in no way do i claim to be perfect, because i am very far from that, but i try my best.

i believe Andy does his best.

I love Andy, every single part of him. He does so much for our family, he brings out parts of me that I didnt know existed. We have our Andee Kae because we know we are it for each other.

Things get tough sometimes, & sometimes we think it would be easier to quit & start fresh somewhere else. Reality is that we are a family. We work thru things, EVERYTHING.

No matter how tough.

& im happy with that. id work thru anything with Andy to keep our family together.

One Day...

One day you wake up after a night of fighting & sleeping it off.

You think its going to be ok as you kiss goodbye for the day.

Hours go by, you get a text asking whats going on a facebook..

You know nothing of facebook because your working.

Your curiosity gets the best of you, you look.

Your "fiance" has changed his status to "single"...

Your heart drops. You cant breath, you shake & then you realize it wasnt just a fight.

Its the end of a chapter, a chapter you thought was going to be the last one in your book of life.

Today i get to start a new chapter.

Im not happy about it, im pretty sad actually.

But as we all know, ive overcome so much & ill overcome this.

You cant force someone to want the same life you do.....

Here goes to chapter 1,004,675 in my book of life.

I cant promise butter flies & rainbows in this chapter.

But i can promise someone being real.

Some one trying to wade thru the mud & find that clear water.

On a happier note. I got a surprise phone from the sweetest (almost) 3 year old, our first ever actual phone conversation. It brighten my day & warmed my heart. More on that later on. Lets just say in that aspect of life. its good. its better then good its amazing. I am the luckiest woman in the world to have josh & lizzy.. I am so lucky..